Remembering Norma

Today is my late mother’s birthday and I miss her.

Our Norma was a wonderful woman, a true Cuban mother who gave her all to her three children. A widow at 42, in a strange new country where she did not know the language, she led a difficult but happy life. Alone after my father’s unexpected death, she took a night job as a cafeteria worker, leaving behind a career as a high school teacher. The night job allowed her to get the three of us kids off to school on time, with a good breakfast, a packed lunch and a warm hug. Her sacrifice was immense, and it paid off with three independent, educated and successful adults. Life was difficult but happy, every day.

She had no car and no drivers license, so she walked to the bus stops of her life every day and every night. Without extra money, she wore the same boots and coat for decades, ruining her frozen toes in the bitter Minnesota winters. She would cry quietly sometimes, just from sheer exhaustion. But her strength was immense too. She would push us in our studies, work hard to keep us well fed, create ways to make up for the lack of toys at Christmas. She was so strong, and she was devout like no one else I knew.

When she was asked, “How are you doing, Norma?” her response was always the same: “I make it, with the Lord.” That was the message in my eulogy to her. God and Jesus were real to her, and she made them real to us, her kids. She helped us remember what was important: our health, our education and our faith … she called them the three things no one can take from you. I make it too, because she did.

I remember many things but what I remember best is her great smile. It was happy and overwhelming, and it was shared with everyone she met. Her English did get better over time, and she was happy to talk to people and smile with them everywhere she went. She would turn to other tables at restaurants and just strike up simple conversations. She loved sharing with people, whether it was making a cake or a dinner, giving a card or a hug. She was always described by her friends as “que buena” … how good, what a good person. And she was, every day of her life. The smile you see below is the one she always wore … and the one she will wear when I see her again. What a happy day that will be.